A short thought entry

I’m worried but I trust you. I know this is a huuuge deal right now and I don’t want to bug you by asking what’s going. I’m not allowing it to worry me too much because I know you guys always get it right and I don’t find it useful to worry too much. When i hear that something super wrong happened, i’ll start worrying like a freako. 

I hope you’re all safe. 

my CASTLEVILLE game on FACEBOOK! Addicted :P 

My first tatoo :D wuhooo! 

That’s how you should play your instrument. Feelin’ it.

I hate being poor.

Being an artist

If there is one thing that pisses me off so fucking much is when people worry about making money and they’re all “set for life”. Stupid, grow up. YAH OK, artists make money but do you know how long it takes an artists to become dirty rich? Yah okay, we live comfortably but compared to all those shits who take up business and all that crap? Goddamnit. Yah, it takes a person 8-11 years to become a lawyer but fuck, how much do they earn on their first year? How about people that work in banks and shit? I’m talking about the kids that graduate from prestigious colleges okay? I have a bunch of friends who complain how they have no money and stuff but they fucking work in J.P and Morgan or Maybank or Duetsche or some really prestigious work place and DUH i know their positions. They fucking graduated from Ateneo or La salle or bleeeeeh and it’s like.. What the fuck are you talking about? You have decent salaries but not only that you have fucking FIXED SALARIES PLUS BONUSES AND SHIT… I talk to my artists friends… errr… 10-15k per month. Your lucky if you get anything higher than 15k. Okay how about the freelancers? Yah… sure… because it’s soooo easy to tell people a layout of a website or poster is 10k?

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH LABOR, THINKING, AND TIME US ARTISTS DEDICATE TO MAKE YOUR SHIT AND YOU TELL US 5K IS EXPENSIVE? FUCK YOU. NO REALLY FUCK YOUUUU. You stupid freaks who think paying us 2-5k is already expensive. Do you know how STRICT the public is when it comes to plagiarism, originality, and authenticity?!???!?!!? Every single thing we use in making your damn marketing materials or whatever you wanna call is original. It takes so much time coming up with an original concept. THEN YOU TELL US IT’S TOO EXPENSIVE. OH. MY. GODDDDDDD. It’s so fuckin frustrating. 

We don’t earn like most of you ok? 

Photo Manipulation: the Crying Tree - Step one in composing an image on the 7th circle of the Inferno. 

I had no clue that doing this would take me an hour. I salute every person that does this for a living and is super duper underpaid. Gosh! This kind of work requires so much thinking and patience!!! I was sitting in front of the computer for so long trying to get the perfect composition of the face into the tree. hahaha! Fun though. I’m happy that I’m learning how to do this perfectly. Skill levels are rising!!!! WUHOO!!! YAHOO!!! YIPEE!!!!

STRESS RELIEVER = SEX

oh. yah. i forgot. i’m FATANDIDONTFITINTOSOCIETY’SDEFINITIONOFSEXYSOMENINMYCOUNTRYWONTHAVESEXWITHME.IFORGOT. OOPS.

hahahaha. i made myself laugh cos it’s true. boo you whore.

Myth: Young people rarely think about suicide.
Reality: Teens and suicide are more closely linked than adults might expect. In a survey of 15,000 grade 7 to 12 students in British Columbia, 34% knew of someone who had attempted or died by suicide; 16% had seriously considered suicide; 14% had made a suicide plan; 7% had made an attempt and 2% had required medical attention due to an attempt.

Myth: Talking about suicide will give a young person the idea, or permission, to consider suicide as a solution to their problems.
Reality: Talking calmly about suicide, without showing fear or making judgments, can bring relief to someone who is feeling terribly isolated. A willingness to listen shows sincere concern; encouraging someone to speak about their suicidal feelings can reduce the risk of an attempt.

Myth: Suicide is sudden and unpredictable.
Reality: Suicide is most often a process, not an event. Eight out of ten people who die by suicide gave some, or even many, indications of their intentions.

Myth: Suicidal youth are only seeking attention or trying to manipulate others.
Reality: Efforts to manipulate or grab attention are always a cause for concern. It is difficult to determine if a youth is at risk of suicide All suicide threats must be taken seriously.

Myth: Suicidal people are determined to die.
Reality: Suicidal youth are in pain. They don’t necessarily want to die; they want their pain to end. If their ability to cope is stretched to the limit, or if problems occur together with a mental illness, it can seem that death is the only way to make the pain stop.

Myth: A suicidal person will always be at risk. 

Reality: Most people feel suicidal at some time in their lives. The overwhelming desire to escape from pain can be relieved when the problem or pressure is relieved. Learning effective coping techniques to deal with stressful situations can help.

Reblog if you have thought about suicide, love someone who is struggling with thoughts of suicide, or if you love someone who has committed suicide.

I have thought about suicide. I love someone who is struggling with the thoughts of suicide. I love someone who has committed suicide. I am reblogging this.

Job Search! I’m having trouble uploading my vid edit reel online… hay naku. I have to send this already but I’m having trouble with the stupid internet that hates me so much right now. Gah. OK. DO DO DO DO DO.

I feel like people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination. We’re always thinking that someday we’ll be happy. You know, we’ll get that car or that job or that person in our lives that fixes everything. But happiness is a mood and a condition, it’s not a destination. It’s like being tired or hungry; it’s not permanent, it comes and goes, and that’s okay. And I feel like if people thought of it that way, they’d find happiness a lot more often.
(via wordsandlyrics)